In the year of our fathers, 1972, in the humble lands of Ohio, a child was born unto the world. John was his name, and from the first wail of his lungs, the world knew that peace was not to be his path. For John was destined to be a rebel, a wanderer, and a bringer of both chaos and laughter.

As a youth, John the Young was known across the village as the Trickster of Trouble, never one to shy away from mischief. His spirit could not be tamed, and so the family, in search of sun and adventure, journeyed westward to the land of California. Here, John’s brilliance was matched only by his determination to outwit every elder who dared cross his path.

It was in the blessed halls of high school that John’s heart was captured by the radiant Jen. Their love was a spark that became a roaring flame, uniting them in holy mischief in 1993, thus establishing the First Covenant of Jonukkah.

John worked with the fervor of a thousand laborers — building, creating, and conquering. Before the age of fifty, John the Young became John the Retired, having wrestled the world into submission with his tradesman’s skill and boundless energy. In retirement, he became unstoppable — laying down fairways, blazing trails of mountain biking, and roaring through race tracks in a flash. His hands built homes, his spirit built memories, and his need for speed gave his dear wife fresh reasons to pray.

But the greatest of his creations was his family — his son and daughter — who carried forward his love of wild adventure and heartfelt laughter.

Thus, every June, we celebrate Jonukkah, a day of feasting, laughter, and wild tales, honoring the man who turned every day into an adventure and every moment into a lesson. Let this be our prayer: May the spirit of Jonukkah inspire us to work hard, play harder, and never lose the twinkle of mischief in our eyes.